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Summer sucks. A lot. Five reasons say it all.
Reason #1: Creepy Crawlies
I was staring out the window, taking in the scenery. Then, I notice this huge spider crawling up the window. I freaked. I tried to get away and tripped over my mom's idiot vases. So I had to get out the vacuum cleaner to clean up the dirt. I pass our heat vent and happen to look down. I notice something funny. I take a closer look and realize it's a huge furry slug the size of a goddamn German sausage (the HUGE ones..) It was black and had yellow streaks on it. I had nightmares for the rest of the week.
Reason #2: Mosquito-Rama
Every shitty night, I lie awake. You know why? Cuz I can't sleep. Know why I can't sleep? Cuz my back is full of red itchy painful bumps. Every now and then, I'll hear the buzz of a particularly large mosquito and know I'll wake up in the morning with a crater for a nose.
Reason #3: Temperature Woes
My philosophy is that cold weather is better than hot weather. When it's cold, you can put on an extra sweater or something. But what can you do when it's hot and you have to leave the house and your precious air conditioner? Pour cold water down your shirt repeatedly? I don't think so.
Reason #4: No Oranges
Everyone knows the orange season is during the winter. (Want more info on my obsession with oranges?)
Reason #5: Watermelon Vomit
Every summer, about four times a week, my father goes to the supermarket and brings home a huge watermelon and makes me eat it. (Want more info on my hatred of watermelon?)
Yeah, so maybe you get school off. But what good is that when you have insects and mosquitos holding orgys on your body every night? Besides, after two months of sitting around the house washing lunch dishes and hearing your younger sister whine about how you're mean for not letting her run around with a water gun inside the house, you'll actually begin to wish school would start.
